A Conversation
by The Ghostly Horse
Summary: Umm, so I decided to change this into a series of short conversations carried out by the characters in Sherlock. They're not set in a particular time, and they're not connected to one another in any way. I'm taking prompts from anyone who has a conversation idea, and will update sporadically - sorry 'bout that.
1. A Book That Might Have Been Read

**I was bored. So I decided to provide a normal, everyday conversation that John and Sherlock might go through. Especially if Sherlock's bored. Please read, please review. Honestly, I get this fantastic feeling of accomplishment every time I see that someone's reviewed something of mine.**

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

"Jesus Sherlock! Make some noise when you approach me. I nearly took off your head."

"Yes, you did overreact a little John, I can't feel my arm."

"I was in the army you know. Believe it or not, I have been ambushed before."

"That was hardly an ambush."

"May as well have been."

"You haven't diverted me from my original question. What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing really, just idling."

"Through Fifty Shades of Grey?"

"I wasn't reading it, I just picked it up!"

"You should know by now that I don't judge John."

"I wasn't reading it!"

"Of course not."

"I don't like your tone Sherlock. Don't be snide, it isn't becoming."

"You think I care about your reading preferences?"

"No, 'course not, I know you well enough."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing at all Sherlock, nothing at all."

"That was condescending."

"Very good. Consider me impressed."

"So, what's the book like? Any good?"

"For the last time, I wasn't reading it!"

"All right, if it makes you fell better about yourself John. You weren't reading it."

"I swear to God, I will kill you."

"You wouldn't do that. I provide too much excitement in your boring life."

"It's been anything but boring since I met you for sure."

"So really you should be thanking me."

"…"

"You're right John, not really one of you skills."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

"I don't like where this conversation's going Sherlock. I'm losing ground."

"Indeed you are. Shame."

"What the Hell Sherlock?! Don't do that again!"

"Argh! You got me in the solar plexus. I can't breathe."

"Good. That's what you get when you slam books in my ear."

"I. Can't. Breathe. John."

"Poor Sherlock. You'll get over it."

"I will get you back for this."

"I'm shaking in my boots."

"Should be. I can be rather intimidating when I choose to be."

"I hadn't noticed. Is that what that vaguely intense stare-y thing you do supposed to be?"

"You're hilarious John. Should be a comedian. You'd rake it in."

"Thank you."

"I give up. You're being insufferable. Like talking to a five-year-old."

"Coming from you, who makes a song and dance every time your brother checks up on you."

"Don't bring Mycroft into this, you automatically lose the argument."

"Shame."

"You should care more about what you win and lose."

"This barely counts as a conversation, let alone an argument. I fail to see how I'm losing."

"I'm going back to bed."

"That's right. Quit while you're ahead."

"Bad things are going to happen to you soon John Watson."

"Righto, just as soon as you get up from your nap eh?"

"Goodbye."

"Later."


	2. All For A Phone

**G'day. This is a short conversation which, realistically, probably happens frequently in 221B Baker St. Hope you enjoy! Read and review. If you have any ideas, feel free to suggest them, and I'll do my best to deliver. Your idea's up next LoS, don't worry.**

"John, phone."

"What about it Sherlock?"

"Get it for me."

"We've been over this before. I'm not your bloody slave. Get it yourself, you're not a paraplegic."

"I'm in the middle of something."

"Wait until you're finished then. If you're to busy to grab a phone sitting barely a metre away, you're too busy to annoy Lestrade or your brother."

"What factored into you conclusion that I wished to contact either of those people? I have a great deal of acquaintances that I may have a need of."

"Oh for God's sake Sherlock! It's either Greg or Mycroft because you don't talk to Molly over the phone, you simply rock up and ruin whatever relationship she's trying to have. Mrs Hudson's downstairs and you yell for her, and she doesn't have a phone either, or not that I've seen…"

"She has a Samsung flip-top 2007 model."

"Whatever. It's none of your homeless network, for obvious reasons and you don't have any other 'acquaintances' as you so endearingly call them. So by process of elimination it's one of the two."

"Consider me impressed John. In case you were wondering, I wish to call Lestrade about some evidence his team overlooked at the last homicide. Not surprising really."

"I'm still not getting you phone. I'm typing up your latest case. Y'know the one with the axe shoved in the bloke's brain. Horrible way to go."

"Please John. I'm busy."

"No, not this time."

"It's really important."

"No."

"It involves investigating a high-class strip club. And you know Lestrade will put us on the case."

"Not interested. And I'm offended that you think I'd be swayed with the bribe of a strip club. I though you knew me better."

"I do know you better. Which is why I know, in approximately forty seconds, you're going to huff, make unnecessary noise while standing up and retrieve my phone for me. And by the way, it's actually in my left coat pocket, not on the table this time. You should have noticed, you got up to make tea five minutes and sixteen seconds ago."

"Not this time I'm not Sherlock. I'm resolved to outlast you on this one."

"We both know that that's not going to happen John. Now be a good boy and get my phone for me. Please."

"Give me two good reasons why I should."

"Only two? Why, are your standards really that low? Or do you secretly want to get my phone, because if that's the case we can skip the reasons and you could just do as I ask."

"Ask? More like demand. I will not be pushed around."

"I'll set fire to your favourite shirts."

"Really Sherlock? You're too lazy to grab your own phone but you'll set my clothes on fire? Where are your priorities?!"

"John."

"Fine. You win this time. Only 'cause I know you actually will set light to anything that's not yours."

"Oh, and John."

"What now?!"

"You misspelt 'telecommunications'."


	3. Enduring Anderson

**I like this one. It's a prompt from _Lady of Something_, so I hope you enjoy this _LoS_! I'd like to thank all my reviewers, my favourite-ers and my follower! Let me know if you've got a prompt, and please let me know if I got the characters right. Please read and review!**

"Did you bring him in?"

"You know I did Anderson. No one has the faintest idea where to go with this one."

"You haven't even tried."

"Well, go on. You try it. Figure out what happened, why they did it, and who is responsible. I'd like to see your skills of deduction."

"Well let's not be rash. I can't just guess…"

"We all know you can't guess the colour of a marshmallow to save your life Anderson, what's different this time? Were you exercising his tiny brain George?"

"Greg, you know it's Greg."

"Hey, I'm standing right here you know! You can't just…"

"Can you comprehend words now? My, my, you've come a long way."

"Leave it Sherlock. What have you got for us?"

"Not sure yet. Let you know when I do."

"Ah. So the Great Consulting Detective does have flaws. We're all stunned."

"Oh, _shut up_ Anderson!"

"No, no, let the invalid speak. I imagine all those thoughts are pressing painfully against his skull. John told me I should ease a person's pain if I had the capacity to do so."

"Sherlock…"

"What do you want Lestrade? Go bother someone else."

"Fine. C'mon Anderson, we're gonna go over the back room for prints again."

"No, I think I'll stay here, swab around the body, maybe do a little prodding. Our famous detective needs a little help."

"It's your neck. Don't come whining to me when he insults your intellect. God knows he's not too far off the mark when you get it in your head to be stubborn."

"Looks like you've grown a backbone since I've last had the misfortune to… ah… encounter you."

"Trust me, walking in on you wearing only a sheet, barely covering you, wasn't a highlight of my life either."

"You paint such a charming picture. Sure you wouldn't be better off as a sculpture artist?"

"The sociopath cracks a joke. Throw a party."

"I see you finally deigned to use a dictionary, and label things as they are correctly titled."

"No. Just too bloody sick of listening to your 'I'm a high-functioning sociopath'. Gets on everyone's nerves."

"What on _earth_ are you doing?!"

"Swabbing for foot or finger prints. Like you're supposed to. You do know that someone collects the evidence you use to 'solve' your cases, don't you? It doesn't just appear at the desk in the St Bart's labs. The Yard does do something."

"If that's how you've been obtaining your evidence all these years, no wonder you're absolute rubbish."

"Watch it detective. You're not just insulting me this time, you're insulting the Scotland Yard."

"Whoops. I fail to see how that changes the facts."

"The Yard's been around a lot longer than you, and it's gotten on just fine without you. Just remember, when you're long dead and decomposed, the Yard will still be solving cases and saving lives."

" You're absolutely correct Anderson. I apologise profusely."

"Really?"

"I must admit, your perception of what you consider important has improved greatly during my absence."

"Well…"

"Though, I'm afraid the same cannot be said for your recognition of sarcasm."

"One day Sherlock, I swear to God…"

"I'll be waiting. Now if you don't mind, I've got a dismembered body to attend."


End file.
